Talk Safe - Gay and Bisexuality

HIV-negative gay and bisexual men need a safe space to talk openly about their feelings without fear of neglecting, offending or hurting HIV-positive men or incurring their resentment or anger.

Staying HIV-negative is an ongoing process that is impacted by psychological, interpersonal, and community factors.

Gay and bisexual men need help in the process of staying HIV-negative.

Gay and bisexual men who view an HIV-negative status solely as a lab result need to be supported in recognizing their HIV-negative identity, and integrating it into multiple identities.

Gay and bisexual men need encouragement to discuss what they believe constitutes risky sexual behavior.

HIV-negative gay and bisexual couples need help to examine decisions made regarding unprotected sexual relations.

Gay and bisexual couples with mixed HIV status need help to examine each partner's feelings about the other's status and decisions made regarding unprotected sexual relations.

Mental health assessments by a professional provider link those with significant psychological and/or substance use problems with appropriate mental health services.

HIV-prevention counseling can be successfully accomplished through peers trained and supervised by a professional mental health provider.

Peer counselors serve as role models for clients by sharing their feelings about coping with an HIV-negative status.

Gay and bisexual men sometimes need help developing non-sexual intimacy and learning how to talk with other gay and bisexual men.

Book Chapter:

Shidlo, A. (1997). Mental health issues of HIV negative gay men. In M. G. Winiarski (Ed.), HIV mental health for the 21st century (pp. 173-189). New York: New York University Press.

"Many HIV-negative gay men find it difficult to discuss their feelings about how the specter AIDS has affected their relationships, love, sex, their identities and their futures. Many HIV-negative gay men feel secretive and shameful about their serostatuses. They are afraid to tell their HIV-positive friends for fear of hurting them, making them envious, or burdening them with perceived trivialities. Some HIV-negative men even lie to others, pretending to be HIV-positive. They do not talk about their serostatuses with HIV-negative friends because it is supposed to be a nonissue, a lab result that one should accept quietly and gratefully. In a climate where the meanings of HIV serostatus are not openly explored and discussed, HIV-negative gay men's identities can become fragmented and confused (Ball, 1995). Many gay men find it exceedingly difficult to discuss their feelings about protected and unprotected anal intercourse with prospective sexual partners or even with established life-partners. " (p. 175)